April Budget

I guess the question is, what didn't I buy this month?
I said I was going to be adopting the shopping habit of buying less, yet, I've been doing anything but. I blame the inundation of sales, leading me to make purchases I might not normally make. I've also been stocking up on loungewear like they are going to stop selling it.

Items not included on this list are pieces I am hoping to exchange for a better fitting size, and a few pieces from my ThredUP order which didn't fit and are now listed on my Poshmark closet. I also just placed another large ThredUP order for lots of cute workout clothes (I need motivation), more loungewear, and a floral print Joie blouse. Typically secondhand is the only time I buy Joie, even though it's one of my favorite brands. However, in another quarantine moment of insanity I ordered this blouse because it was 40% off (but that is still $148 and I should probably return it). My compulsion to shop right now should probably be a concern, and there are at least three shopping carts sending me emails right now...

Banana Republic Safari Dress, $45
Lou & Grey Sweatpants & Sweatshirt, $70
Target Leopard Dress via ThredUP, $10 
Ann Taylor Factory Drapey Pants, $25
Gap White Leather Belt, $20
Etsy Gold Rings, $14
Loeffler Randall Emelia Knot Sandals, $200
Flattered Misha Sandals, $140
Free People Bodysuit via Macy's, $35
Marc Fisher Brown Croc Bootie, $35
Loft Leopard Print Ruffle Cap Sleeve Top, $22 
Ann Taylor Easy Straight Jeans, $50*
Ann Taylor Notched Collar Tie Front Top, $24*

*not pictured because I forgot

Watching Street Lights Glow

Taking these photos was almost like a meditation. Just me and the camera, the setting sun, the cherry blossoms. A few people would pass by, but they would either distance themselves from me, or I them. I took my time, framing my shots, changing angles, doing my best to capture the glowing light and the magic of pink flowers.

This is an old, familiar spot. Some years I come nearly every day for photos while the trees are in bloom, and others, like this one, just once. One year stands out in my mind for a few reasons; I loved my outfit, the photos were taken in the evening after the street lamps came on, and the trees were blooming before my birthday. This is the first time since 2012 these trees were in full bloom before April 12th, so I felt compelled to come take these photos as the sun was setting.

Thinking back to 2012, that was a year I took some significant steps forward in my life, small, but positive changes. Clearly 2020 is going to be a year of changes, and I hope in the not too distant future I'll be able to look back and see lots of positive ones amidst the tumultuous ones.

       

The Rundown
Fringe Cardigan Anthropologie similar
Cowl Neck Camisole Mango
 Easy Straight Jeans Ann Taylor
Cream Booties Aerosoles
Round Rattan Bag Etsy similar
Circle Earrings c/o AUrate New York
Aries Pendant Necklace Mejuri
Midi Stackable Diamond Ring c/o AUrate New York
Thin Gold Ring Etsy via Ellyn Blue Jewelry 
Sunglasses "Meteor" Ray-Ban c/o TJMaxx
Nail Polish "Cold Brew Crew" Essie

It's a Jungle Out There

Since my sister started her blog we've been somewhat at odds when it comes to taking outfit photos. Since the very beginning of my blog (and in truth, before I started my blog) it was meant to be about documenting outfits I actually wore. I feel like a decade ago most bloggers shared a similar mentality, but over the years it's evolved to become more about inspiration (or perhaps even more so aspiration).

In the efforts to create content above all else, outfits get styled for photographs which never have a reason to be worn for real, and that has never been something I could get behind. So my sister and I argue, and most of the time I end up photographing her inspirational looks and refusing to put together my own - since what I'm really wearing is some combination of joggers and a sweatshirt with zero makeup and my hair pulled back.

But here we are, six weeks into quarantine, with no reason to get dressed aside from going through the motions of normalcy, so here is a look that wasn't so much worn as it was styled, and hopefully someday will provide inspiration, even if for no one other than myself.

     

The Rundown
Jungle Print Blouse J.Crew
Drapey Marnia Pant Ann Taylor
Sandals Manolo Blahnik via Coco's on the Green
 Green Snake Skin Box Bag c/o Vintanthromodern similar
Earrings Thrifted
Ring Thrifted
Sunglasses "Meteor" Ray-Ban c/o TJMaxx

Empty Spaces

Empty spaces. We've always had them, only now they are more predominant, more pronounced. The businesses which shuttered, leaving behind little more than a paper sign in the window, sitting vacant for years - I fear for the ones remaining with their doors temporarily closed, that temporary doesn't turn into forever.

I think about the empty spaces in my life, the ones caused by this pandemic, and the preexisting ones it has exacerbated. Longing for simple things like coffee dates with friends, and greater things like wanting to fill my days with purpose, futile as it seems at the moment.

I don't want to get back to my normal, I want something more; a life that feels lived.

      

The Rundown

Camel Sweater Banana Republic via Consignment Originals
Wide Leg Denim Pants Ann Taylor similar
Tan Loafers Franco Sarto via DSW
Straw Bag with Bamboo Handles Thifted similar
Leopard Silk Scarf Ann Taylor
Pearl Hoop Earrings c/o Mejuri
Necklace Thrifted
Midi Stackable Diamond Ring c/o AUrate New York
Thin Gold Ring Etsy via Ellyn Blue Jewelry
Sunglasses "Meteor" Ray-Ban c/o TJMaxx

Birthday in Quarantine

Yesterday was my fourth and final Easter Birthday, because it won't fall on April 12th again until 2093.

I'd been looking forward to going out to celebrate with my friends on the Saturday evening before, followed the big family gathering on Sunday, with all our traditional Easter dishes, especially the cream pie and ricotta pie, plus my birthday cake...

But of course that didn't happen. My friends called to wish me happy birthday, one left a gift on my doorstep. The family got together via Zoom, and with seven little children vying to be the center of attention, it was a chaotic virtual gathering, to say the least. No Easter pies were baked, since it would just be us eating them, no huge meal cooked; we just had my birthday cake, and per my request blonde lasagna.

I got dressed for the first time in while, and I stayed dressed all day long! I don't think that has happened in quite sometime, but it felt good. The day started off beautifully, sunny and warm - I didn't even need to add a cardigan until later in the afternoon (well, pretty much when we took these photos). Practicing social distancing while taking outfit photos does tend to add an extra challenge, even though I routinely wait until people pass so they aren't in the background, suddenly it felt like getting six feet away from everyone who passed by was difficult without going into the street or dodging into an alleyway. But pandemic or otherwise, on my birthday, when cherry blossoms are blooming, and it's not raining, so help me I'm going to take outfit photos.

Overall, it was a pretty good birthday, my sister and I drank a bottle of wine, I made meringue frosting for my cake and then toasted it with a blow torch, gifts were received, candles blown out, and I got to feel grateful for all that I have.

        

The Rundown

Clipdot Wrap Bodysuit Abercrombie similar

Blue & White Toile Maxi Skirt H&M similar
 Jeweled Strap Mule Banana Republic
Vintage Beaded Bag Anna Pearl's Curiosities similar
Pearl Earrings Maris Pearl Co. 
Aries Pendant Necklace Mejuri
Midi Stackable Diamond Ring c/o AUrate New York
Thin Gold Ring Etsy via Ellyn Blue Jewelry
Nail Polish "Cold Brew Crew" Essie

Just a Day Fading Into Another

I wish I could say I've been using my time well. That quarantine has given me the opportunity to focus on creative pursuits, or read more, or accomplish a task that requires my attention for a length of time I might not typically have.

Instead, the days just seem to blur together; books sit without their spines cracked, my closet remains unedited, rather than reaching out to friends, my phone sits quite, its only purpose is to guarantee packages keep arriving at my door everyday. Shopping, my only attempt at finding comfort during this time is perhaps the most useless.

I feel as though my life has been striped of autonomy, that I can't make myself a latte because we are worried about running out of milk, nor can I just pop into the store and buy more milk. I feel stressed about going out for the tiny handful of dog walks I have at the moment, even though they are the only part of my life giving me a sense of purpose, a reason to go outside, and the comfort of affection only a dog can give, even while I'm not supposed to be allowing kisses and keeping contact to a minimum.

So I shop. I shop to feel as though I have some effect on my world around me, to feed the daydreams of times when I can go out in the world and wear what I've purchased, to give me something to look forward to as time keeps passing by. I know it's not the right way to cope, it's just all I feel like I can do right now. 

     

The Rundown
Ribbed Cardigan Dress Banana Republic
Cream Booties Aerosoles
Brown Round Bag Mark Cross thrifted similar
Aries Pendant Necklace Mejuri
Midi Stackable Diamond Ring c/o AUrate New York
Thin Gold Ring Etsy via Ellyn Blue Jewelry
Signet Ring Sashi
Sunglasses "Meteor" Ray-Ban c/o TJMaxx

The Spring Wardrobe Challenge

Before the pandemic and the stay at home recommendations and my fit of add to cart madness, I was planning on joining Courtney in her spring wardrobe challenge. The rules are simple, no new clothes, wear as much of my existing spring wardrobe as possible, decide what should stay and what is just taking up closet space.

Clearly the no shopping portion of the challenge was pretty significant, and I definitely failed there - however - the important thing to do is just reset and try again, rather than continuing down the path of more shopping. This weekend every time I wanted to make a purchase, I added the piece to a Pinterest board instead. If I'm still obsessing come June 20th (and they are still in stock) then I can buy them.

The second component of the challenge I approached with more gusto, pulling out this Madewell silk wrap top that was purchased December of 2018, and to the best of my recollection, was still yet to be worn; along with this houndstooth print coat, which I've had for over a decade, but hasn't been worn in a few years.

The verdict - I think both pieces can stay. Would you agree?

Now I just need to get out of my lounge wear and put the rest of my spring wardrobe to the test, even if it's for no other reason than to take photos and decide if the pieces should stay or go.

       

The Rundown
Silk Cropped Wrap Blouse Madewell similar
White Jeans Gap
Houndstooth Coat Kohl's similar
Pointed Flats Rothy's
Bucket Bag "Johnny" Danse Lente
Simple Pearl Necklace c/o AUrate
Midi Stackable Diamond Ring c/o AUrate New York
Thin Gold Ring Etsy via Ellyn Blue Jewelry
Sunglasses "Meteor" Ray-Ban c/o TJMaxx